newish year.

I vehemently dislike New Year's resolutions and I firmly believe that most people have no intention of sticking to them even if they do make some annual edicts for themselves.

This year though, has been exceptionally hard. I'd like to think that I've learned an awful lot, and have come out the other side with some more concrete knowledge of myself, but at the very least I do have a list of things that I know could use some work.

1. money. I love stuff. The mister and I are on the low end of being reasonably well-paid, but after mortgage payments, maintenance, bills and dog stuff, we don't have a ton of disposable income. So I'm going to work on only buying things that I need and/or love desperately. Also, I need to stop ordering in so damned often and cook the stuff sitting in my fridge.

2. write some stuff. I have been procrastinating lots over the last year - to the point of total embarrassment. I have put off my 50-page thesis for longer than is comfortable to say and need to finish that (not to mention that it's costing me money the longer I wait, see #1). Also, I have a blog, I guess I should actually, you know, update it?

3. remove foot from mouth. I am impulsive. I do things quickly and say things quickly and haven't always considered the implications (or all of the actual facts) beforehand. I think a lot angst could be saved by pausing for a moment for consideration before I open my fat gob.

I make no promises, but at least I'm trying.

Wrapping it up.

I've been thinking about wrapping things up a lot lately, both literally and figuratively. It's the holidays, so there has been a bit of actual wrapping going on, but I'm mostly thinking about things coming to an end. The year is drawing to a close, and so many things have changed over the last 12 months, I don't know that I've been able to process them all. We've been seeing people move on with their lives and worked on moving on with our own. It is my hope that this next year will be a little calmer, with a bit more time to think all of these changes through and less scrambling from one adjustment to another.

In that vein, I'm confronting my writer's block head on. It's about time that I finish a project that I've been working on for over a year now, and I'd be delighted if any of you who might still be listening would help me out. I have a little survey that I've put together, if you don't mind answering a few questions, that would be wonderful. If you'd be willing to pass it on, even better.

I'll have my head in the sand working on deciphering all of this data and getting through the holidays and then I'll be back, hopefully newly inspired, and ready to work on the next 12 months.

Expats.

I am utterly confounded by people whom, having no citizenship rights, and therefore no real ability to MAKE MONEY, in their adopted new home, manage to relocate to a new country. Can someone please tell me if a trust fund is the key to a new location in life? Is it simply being creative (and successful enough to make a living out of said creativity) that allows people to work from anywhere in the world? I'd like to know, because sometimes I think I could use a serious change.

Heartbroken.

On Thursday morning we lost our sweet pup Arlo to a horrible accident. I can't even begin to describe how sad we are or how much we miss her. I don't know where we'll go from here, but I'm just trying to take it day by day.

Saddle up.

I've had a case of writer's block for over a year now. I think the only way to get rid of it is to just start with something, anything to get back in the habit, and to remember that the worst circumstances make for the best songs.

If I were good

I'd post every day, or at least every other. Instead I get sick, move out of and then back into my apartment, have surgery and take weeks to recover, all while neglecting this little vanity project of mine. Oops. I suppose if I were good I'd feel worse about it too.

Wee people.

Everyone I know is getting pregnant, except me (purposely). I feel a little guilty about the fact that I would rather drink bourbon and eat runny eggs and cheese than make with the babies, but to be honest, that's how it is. I'm hoping for nieces and nephews since I'd like the kind of kids I can spoil and send home to their parents, but I don't think I'm getting any too soon, and I'm not too sad about that either.

I said I wasn't going to complain...

...but I have a SPEEDBUMP in my hardwood floors downstairs! Don't even ask me to tell the story of how it got there. Pfft.

A good year.

My sister is in South Africa with the baboons and our pup is in a kennel because the airline was being a pain in the a** about letting her fly, but Christmas is good this year. Our week was cut down to three days thanks to the travel-murdering blizzard on the east coast, so we condensed down to the essentials: unbelievably delicious lunch at Chez Panisse with the marvelous occasion of running into an old friend who turned out to be our waiter, brunch at an old favorite spot and a walk on the beach out at Stinson.

This morning we slept in a bit and made coffee before we opened presents. My sister's absense was palpable at that point -- it was always her up at the crack of dawn, frustrated at everyone else's inertia, irrepressibly excited about tearing open that first package. But it was slow and quiet and relaxed. We are enjoying each other's company. For the rest of the day we'll work in the kitchen putting together dinner for tonight. There will be cheese and cocktails before, the meal will be wonderful and we will all eat and drink just a little too much. I am so happy and so lucky.

The puppy-shaped wrench in the works.

Before you say it, yes, clearly I'm a little impulsive. In the past six months I've gotten married, purchased my first home and moved, you would think that I'd slow down a bit, relax and enjoy some quiet time in my new neighborhood in this time of newlywed bliss, right? But you would be wrong. Apparently I cannot help myself and I needed to make things just a little more complicated, though, with this face, could you have resisted?

Ich bin eine Brooklyner.

We did it. Papers were signed, checks were written and keys exchanged. I have no idea what I agreed to, and for all I know I've just signed legal documents certifying that I am, in fact, a monkey's uncle. None of that matters for the time being as we're just too happy settling into our new space and enjoying ALL THE ROOM!

Now we have two more days to work on unpacking before we're off to a long weekend for a wedding in Texas, and then three more after our return before we host Thanksgiving dinner. I'm hoping that if I strategically place the new bar cart (fully stocked, of course) right by the door no one will notice the boxes shoved under and behind the furniture. Hey, it could work, right?

Nothing to see here.

There's been lots going on, but none of it very interesting to the outsider I'm afraid. We are closing on our very first home* in just under two weeks. I don't know when it will feel real and I will stop feeling a ittle bit protective and superstitious about it, maybe when I have the keys in my hand? Perhaps after we've moved in? When I write the first check for my mortgage payment?

So for the next two and a half weeks we will be in the process of moving -- cleaning out drawers and cabinets and nooks and crannies, (have I mentioned how much of a packrat I am? No? Well, it's bad...) sealing things up with boxes and tape, picking out shiny new things to go in ALL THE EXTRA SPACE**! But I won't post any pictures until it is really, truly ours, so until then, it may be a bit quiet around here. See you on the other side.

* We live in New York, so by "home" I mean apartment, but it is ours nonetheless.
**For the last 14 months the two of us have shared a 250 square foot studio. Our new apartment is a whopping 600 square feet spread out over TWO FLOORS! We may get lost! We may not know if the other is home! It will be enormous!

Lurking.

So I've been taking a little time off from writing, mostly to read other people's blogs. Their lovely words and gorgeous pictures occasionally make me wonder what I'm doing on this great wide web. I worry sometimes that between the full-time day job and the other "life" things that I'm not quite as prolific or witty as others. I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things this weekend - to do a bit more around the house, gather some inspirations and take my camera out for a spin. I'll be working offline, but we'll call it a long weekend anyway.

Ick.

I have a terrible cold. I have no motivation and no ideas. I'm just ready to hibernate until my immune system has kicked this thing.

Signed, sealed, delivered.

It's done. We've signed on the dotted line, and with a few more hoops to jump through in the next 6 weeks we'll be Brooklynites come the middle of November. I have already started to make my fantasy furniture list... now I just have to wrap my mind around the packing.

A chill in the air.

There is something about walking home from the subway at night when there is just a hint of a chill in the air that makes me a little hopeful.

I know that spring is supposed to be the season that evokes that emotion, what with having waited through the long, dark, cold winter to get to it, but it's the idea of cold noses and warm drinks and mittens and eskimo kisses that gets me excited.

Maybe it's because this year I have everything that I could have ever wished for in my dreams. Maybe it's because my favorite clothes are wool and leather and a mishmash of tweeds. Or maybe it's because I know there is something terribly exciting on the horizon.

Choices, choices.

I have been more than a little indecisive lately. My husband likes to say that I'm "periodically obsessive" meaning that I'll fixate on something for a period of time and then move on to another interest that I'll pursue just as voraciously. I think he's learned that if he ignores some of these things for long enough, they'll go away.

This cyclical focus also makes procrastination one of my killer traits. I can ignore something until the point where it is painful and embarrassing to address it and the excuses that I have to make are downright absurd.

I don't know the best way to address this problem as I don't know anyone else that avoids things in quite the extreme way that I do. Does anyone else do this, or am I just nuts?

End of the weekend.

New beginnings.

After one disappointment a better opportunity arose, and now we are deep in the heady mix of the real estate process -- filling out forms, making copies, sending off packets of the portions of our lives that exist on paper.

I find it a little thrilling, albeit exhausting. Mr. P finds it all a bit terrifying and overwhelming. We have so much on our plates now it's so easy to feel like we're drowning in responsibility and obligation. It will all be incredibly worth it when we come out the other side, with new qualifications, a new neighborhood and on the brighter end of this experience.

Toeing the line.

Where is that magical divide that is the difference between "good things come to those who wait" and "get it before it's gone"? Could someone please tell me? Which is a more admirable quality: decisiveness or patience?